Surrounded by Muslims 

Two business men seated on an airplane noticed a Muslim man sitting in front of them, one of the men says to the other with a wink, "I was going to go to Africa until I found out that half the country is Muslim so I don't want to go there".

 

The other man says, "We'll how about Saudi Arabia then?"

 

The first man says "No way, that place is loaded with those Muslims too."

 

The other man suggests a trip to the US but his companion says "The Muslims have spread out over the whole country every time I turn around there I bump into one."

 

The men are watching the Muslim, and can see that the Muslim man is fidgeting and getting kind of agitated about their conversation. The fellow who started the teasing decides to really get him mad and says "I really wanted to go to Pakistan but that place is crawling with Muslims"

 

At this the Muslim man has had it and finally turns around in his seat and sweetly says to the men, "Why don't you both go to hell? There's hardly any Muslims there!"

 

Nasruddin delivers a khutbah (sermon)

 

Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.


The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.


Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

 

The unshaven man

 

A man was walking along the street when he passed another man with a lot of stubble on his face standing outside a shop. The first man asked:


"How often do you shave?


Twenty or thirty times a day," answered the man with the stubble.


"What! You must be a freak!" exclaimed the first man.


"No, I'm only a barber," replied the man with the stubble.

 

Nasruddin and the conqueror

A certain conqueror said to Nasruddin:

"Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on. How about some such name for me?"

"God Forbid," said Nasruddin.